As you all know Boss reads my blog and it’s all right with him as long as I don’t get work specific.
My rule is with Boss is go ahead and read but no commenting, I would find that inhibiting.
I’ve asked him to start his own blog, but he tells me he doesn’t have anything to write about.
Not have anything to write about? He is so full of it.
So here is a story Boss could of written but won’t because he say’s that he doesn’t have anything to write about. Bah.
As you know I do a lot of work from home and Boss is often here working with me. So quite often he’s had his cup of coffee and his system starts generating the making of a turd.
Typical man.
Anyways Boss is at the house and hustles off to the bathroom, comes back and back to work we go.
A little while later I have to go to the bathroom and I walk in and see what I think is a big brown leaf stuck up under the rim on the side of the toilet.
So I look a little closer, I mean this thing is the size of an oak leaf and you know how big those are.
It’s not an oak leaf; it is a flattened turd about a quarter inch thick, completely plastered, spread, just under the rim. Gross!
And I know who did it. Boss! And how in the hell did he get it up there and spread out like that I couldn’t even guess. I mean this shit was on the side of the toilet up under the rim well above water level.
I also know I’m not cleaning his shit up, no how, no way.
So I walk into where we were working on the computer and ask him what he did to my toilet.
Can you believe at first he tried to play innocent? But I said bull crap; I clean the toilets every morning. Nobody has been in the house but me and I know that I have never in my life shit anywhere but in the water.
Because I was so astounded, and so hot, at the placement of this turd I asked him how in the hell could that possibly of happened.
Boss told me that the urge came over him so fast that he hardly had his pants down and it came out before he was able to sit down. That it came out with such force it hit the side of the toilet and spread out like that.
I was hot, told him that this isn’t a public restroom and to go clean that mess up right now!
Told him where the cleaning supplies were and no way was he to use my toilet brush and get that all stuck full of his shit.
Boss said he had tried to flush it but the water rolls right over it.
Now I have to admit at this point I felt like I was dealing with my kids. Boss looked so cute, so adorable, so embarrassed, so horrified, that inside I was laughing away at his discomfort.
But just like when dealing with my kids, I kept my stern face on. Told him he’s a smart guy, and to figure it out. That I am not paid enough to clean up after him.
Now I know for a fact Boss has never in his life cleaned a toilet. Privileged lifestyle that man has always had.
Just like a kid, he actually said I don’t know how.
Figure it out I said.
So off he goes and I hear him go in the bathroom. Then I hear him going up and down the stairs. The outside door opens closes opens and closes, and I listen to this go on for about twenty minutes.
I’ve got to admit that I was curious but no how, no way, was I going to ask. Sometimes it’s better not to know.
Boss comes back and says that it’s clean. So just like when dealing with kids I go check and it is clean and sparkly. I did a quick check of my toilet brush to make sure that he didn’t get his crap all over that. But that was clean too.
Now I have to know how he cleaned it out, I mean that turd was splattered like a pancake.
Boss said he went outside got some sticks and scrapped the turd off with those then bagged them and put them in the garbage can in the garage.
We still laugh about this sometimes and it’s something neither of us has shared with anyone at work or home. Or at least until now.
But when Boss says he has nothing to write about he is so wrong.