Every Labor Day my sister and I celebrated together one way or another.
I thought maybe if I took off this weekend I could escape thinking about my sister. It didn’t work. Oh my God, the grief that swept over me yesterday, it was a knife slashing over and over into my heart.
Everyday I spoke to her, every single day of my life. We talked and talked about everything that went on in our lives.
When I lost her half of me went missing. I still don’t know how I’m surviving without her.
That may seem like an exaggeration but it’s not. You can’t have gone through what we went through together as sisters without bonding close together to survive.
My family is important to me, my children, my husband, my brother, Boss, and all the rest of my relatives.
But I feel like I’m drowning in a sea filled with well meaning but needy, family.
Big Guy knows me best and asked if I could just hang on until the end of the year and help him understand all the family business so he can take care of it while I’m gone.
Because I have to leave, I have to get in the car and go. Where I don’t know yet but I have to get out of here.
I think I’ve done well for my family. I’ve been there for everyone through thick and thin. I have done it all.
I am a broken person who needs to get away and thank God my Big Guy knows it.
So come January, I’ll back the car out of the driveway and go on down the road for a few months. I have a tentative plan that I haven’t fleshed out yet.
Big Guy say’s I’ve done more than anyone he’s ever met. That I should go, take my time, do what I need to do. As long as I come back to him.
I ever tell you how sappy in love I am with my Big Guy?