Hard words

In the wee hours, after another night of worry, I realized that I have some amends to make. This morning I will call my friend and say the words that come hard to this very, very, proud woman. The words “I’m sorry”.

I was at fault; I have not shared with those nearest and dearest the stresses, the pain, in my life. I will also say I’m sorry for that. Then because I know she is my dear friend she will forgive me.

I need her arms around me, I want to cry, and I want someone to say it’s all right not to be strong all the time. I’m going to ask for help, something I have never done, ever.

I didn’t recognize myself this weekend. What I saw and felt I didn’t like. That is simply unacceptable. I want me back.

Then I'm going to start going for walks. I'll work hard at looking at the world the way I used to see it. How a beautiful color or something in nature, would stop me dead in my tracks until I soaked the moment in. I am going to get that back.

Comments

[pam]

I love walks, precisely for the reason that I can again 'see' the world. The wind that produces different sounds through the different trees, the vivid -or not, on a rainy day- colors, the variety of life... it's an endless buffett of nature's best that also causes me to look inward.

[Beth]

I don't take enough walks. We live close to a beautiful woods, and when I do walk through them, I feel so refreshed and nourished. I wish that BeeBee and Pam and I all lived closer - we could be walking buddies!

[Beth]

I don't take enough walks. We live close to a beautiful woods, and when I do walk through them, I feel so refreshed and nourished. I wish that BeeBee and Pam and I all lived closer - we could be walking buddies!

[Erica]

I take walks everyday